Mr. Nielson took a day off and went fishing with my brothers. I was so happy to release him from his daderly duties for some fun in nature. I missed him at my side though-especially since today was a "happy consult".
Mother came with me instead. We talked about angels, family, children's names, hope, and other things Mom's and daughters talk about including how I hurt when I wake up in the morning. Cindy (my mum) asked me when I was going to post a picture of me on the blog. I said never. But I will, it is after all me.
I had a simple glimpse of me coming back. I get to create a new "me" whatever that entails. It hasn't been easy having to reinvent myself. I have (and still do) mourn for Stephanie. Where did she go? Now I look in the mirror and see someone else, but it's still me. It's...well...weird. I have to learn to be me again. I have to accept and hope. And I should stop saying "should" and replace that with "get". I GET to have a second chance at life. I get to enjoy my children even if my fingers don't work. I get to change the way I look at life and how I can somehow help someone else in need.
And best of all, I get to have my husband. He is still him and I am still me and we still can and are creating the same love we had before. I may becoming a different Stephanie, but it's still me.
What an honor.









