Friday, May 24, 2013

Weening

I can't believe I made dinner tonight. 
I was so exhausted and Mr. Nielson was gone.
My body is sore, and I am in the process of weening myself off my medications.
I feel like every time I have any sort of surgery or trauma,
my body gets used to my pain medications.
I feel like this is a nasty (but necessary) cycle in my life.
I really don't want to be dependent on anything.  
Just a personal conviction I have.
Since my gallbladder surgery and stomach issues, 
I have been on some medication to help control the pain. 
Leaving medication behind has been so hard.
 I feel so normal with something in my system.
With pain meds on board, I can do all the normal motherly activities
that I enjoy and love to do.
Getting up in the morning is first on my list and when I hurt, its very difficult.
Without the pain meds, I realize just how much pain I deal with on a daily basis.
My skin hurts and feels pulled and stressed all the time.
My hands ache and If I let myself, I feel depressed and down.
It's so easy.
But so dangerous. 
I just need to leave it all behind for awhile,
or at least until the next surgery.
I am still working on that, but I couldn't sleep
 last night because I hurt so bad.
I broke down at 2:00 am and
took something and then fell fast asleep.
This is another hill I am climbing,
but I know can do it.  I have done it before.
Lucky for me, Projector Dave visiting from AZ came to my rescue.
He has work in Salt Lake City this weekend. 
I fed him dinner and then texted Mr. Nielson this:
After dinner, Dave took the children to get ice cream and I got to talk to my mom
in St. Louis for a whole hour uninterrupted.  
Thanks Dave!

Happy Weekend to you!!!
Spiritual Enlightenment HERE
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