Jane turns seven.

Little miss Jane turned seven at Smeeks in Phoenix.
Georgeanne and Cassie really outdid themselves for Jane.
Jane's colors were blue, red and pink.
I was discharged from the hospital at 3:45 pm.
The party was at 6:00 p.m.
A quick shower and I was in the car headed to Smeeks to celebrate my child's birth.

The famous Smeeks photo-wall.
(personal favorites are of Georgeanne's son with wigs)

If you live in Arizona, call Georgeanne to treat your child at any age
for a one-of-a-kind perfect perfect birthday party.

Stories from the hospital #3-mystery valentines.

(has nothing to do with this post)

I got home from the hospital and went through my goodies.
A lovely package from jamiee, family members and sweet strangers.
And at the bottom were two red envelopes,
"Are these from you?" I asked Christian.
"No"
I opened them up and my face turned red. I was embarrassed. The words were very suggestive. Where on earth did they come from? Who gave them to me? I am still baffled. But, when I am in a sad mood or in indescribable pain, I will think about the fancy valentines I got from a secret someone at the hospital.

***
Headed back to Dr L. today. This time Mr. Nielson will have a little work done. Hopefully my monkey tail will come out soon. It is driving me crazy and I always sit on it.
Claire told me she needed to "communicate" with Umi in Utah.
Nicholas says he hates everything- tonight it was his R2D2.
Oliver sprayed on my Ed Hardy perfume all over his body after his bath.
Jane told me a story about a little boy in her class raising his hand to announce he was tired.
And I went to Costco (senior Cit-ville) Trader Joe's and texted Lucy the whole time.
We text about her new amethyst ring her husband made for her 26 birthday, the crummy weather in Provo and she sent video's of Bets dancing in her crib.

(lucy and bets at LGO in Phoenix)

Day by day I get stronger, preparing for whatever comes my way.
Fully knowing that it could be anything.
As long as I have chocolate covered caramels, LOST, and Mr. Nielson, I will be just fine.

Stories from the hospital #2-Seeing green.

In the hospital, I was in lucky room #9.
On walks with Mr. Nielson around the hospital floor I casually looked into other's rooms.
Flatscreen there, flatscreen in room 14, in room 3 in fact pretty much every other room than room number 9 had a flatscreen.
My tube was pink on the top and green below.
We screamed to the Olympics seeing green snow and pink skies.
When Page was here, we would try and guess the original colors of the ice skaters outfits, longingly to see them in real color.
Then one morning a tap at the door.
In came the new flatscreen.
It was beautiful, new and shiny.
I watched it the whole day admiring the colors and vibrancy.
Then a tap came to my door."Mrs. Nielson, we are moving you"
I was moved to not-so-lucky room #15.
It didn't have a flatscreen.
Luckily I only stayed another night.

Today was a good check-up with Dr. L.
I think he may have even given me a little hug after our visit. Whoa.
Monkey tail (my drain) is still in my back. It is gross and hurts. We head back in for round 2 visit this week on Thursday. This time Mr. Nielson will have a few treatments done topically on his lips. All the better to smooch him with!

Stories from the hospital #1 and a birthday

When you are burned 80+ percent of your body veins are hard to find.
I was poked 10 times in one afternoon by valiant nurses who insisted they could find one.
I needed one to administer my antibiotics as well as the pain meds.
Then they called in Fred who poked the daylights out of my foot. Success.
But that only lasted a night before the vein blew up.
They called in Amy-Lou (but I was really drugged for it, so I don't know if that was her name) at home to do a picc line. She used ultra sound to detect a vein in my upper arm. Then she fished the needled to a big vein right near my heart.

Success!

And that was all fine until the day I went home and they took the pic line out.
That was very uncomfortable and annoying.
Now, to think that I have to go through that all over again when I am re-admitted.
Woe, woe is me.

Anyway, I went to Parent Teacher Conferences with Mr. Nielson today.
The girls are doing great.
Jane needs a little improvement in the spelling/handwriting area, while
Claire is stuck on learning her phonics.
Generally they are both dear girls in the classroom.

I just need help being a mother.

At least my stools are softer.

Going to my first post-hospital check-up today. I hope it's promising!

Dear Dr. L,
please don't hurt me.
Thank you-
-patient S.

Plus my baby sister is turning 26 today.
I hated being 26. It meant I wasn't 25 anymore.
Enjoy your day Luc!!!
Sorry about the shoes I wanted to get you not fitting.
Something is coming for you in the mail.
I walked it out to the mailbox myself.
In my p.j.'s.
I love you-

(she looks amazing here with her sweetie)

Alive

I feel like I have been through a washing machine.
I woke up, and just like that "Hunchie" was gone.
All those long sleepless nights, uncomfortable moments, and awkward dressing, all gone.
Mr. Nielson lay over me when I woke up.
His sweet low voice was very soothing. I asked what happened and he said I had an infection surrounding the expander's. They had to abort the plans.
I cried.
and
cried.
I have to do this again. I have to go in for weekly appointments with Dr. L. and have hunchie blown up-all again!
Disappointment and discouragement sunk in as I wept.
Then I wiped my eyes, and said-
"Lets do it again, lets try it again, I am not giving up"

My whole life depends on this. I want to be the mother, woman, and wife I dream about, and this will help. I want this more than anything, and nearly bleeding out on the surgery table is all part of the deal.

Mr. Nielson said I have 9 lives, and I have used up 4. Then I asked if talking to one of God's apostles counted as extra lives. He said maybe.

(Leigh with the stuff that makes my toes look like sausages)

And soon enough, I had found myself a good week in the Arizona Burn Center.
The best place in the hospital! Defiantly the best nurses (kristin,katie,tom,rachel,amber,kelly,chris,deb,connie,leigh--everyone...all of you) and Dr.'s a girl could ask for. Seriously!
Dr J. would check on me sometimes twice a day to make sure I was OK. We would watch the Olympics, and chat, then he was off to save another person's life.

Then one day he brought in some Jo-Jo's from Mrs. J and we ate them and talked about surgery and how he like the Bachelor.

(my life-saver)
One day I had some visitors-administrators of the hospital. They gave me thin mint girl scout cookies. I had toothpaste dripping down on my gown. I was shower-free for a good 5 days too.
I wanted to die (but not really)
Plus, I had have my fair share of Regis and Kelly and the Ellen show. I hate daytime TV...unless I am a guest, of course.
And I watched the mighty Olympians battle it out.
Favorite part was when Lindsay Vohn won and was searching for her husband. They hugged and it was so special. Then I told Mr. Nielson I felt bad for watching and listening to them celebrate. It seemed it should have been a special and private moment. But still the best.
Oh, and once Mr. Nielson and I were watching the couple skating and I was so into it, my heart rate was off the charts and I yelled when my favorite couple crashed, and then the burn unit came running into my room to see what had happened.
Then they were mad at me and told me to turn off the TV.

I am home now. First thing I did was shower. Mr. Nielson helped me, and we decided we were going to make up for Valentines Day once I feel good. Can't wait!

My kids are snowbirds

President's Day means two things when you live in AZ. 1) No School! 2) The desert blooms

In my opinion February is the most beautiful month of the year in AZ. While the rest of the northern hemisphere pouts over dark days of shoveling snow that isn't fun anymore after the holidays, Arizonans (and the 200,000 plus snowbirds) flock to the deserts beautiful spring time.

President's day weekend is the perfect occasion to hike Usery Pass Park and take in the powerful colors of deserts wild flowers.

Grandpa and Grandmary were kind enough to take our snowbird children for this beautiful annual hike. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Stephanie is back home now! Got to love those docs and nurses at the good old AZBC, but so glad to be out of there!

Love, Mr. Nielson

So, how's Page doing?

I went out to the Pita Jungle to pick up some dinner for Stephanie. While waiting I called home to check up with the children at Grandmary's house.

"Hi Claire, it's daddy...how are you?"
"Oh, fine. How's Page doing?"
"Page? Oh she's fine. Mom's doing well too in case you were wondering."

Stephanie's sister, Page, spent the weekend here with us while Stephanie is back in the hospital.
Claire, Jane, Oliver and Nicholas haven't seen their mom all weekend but aunt Page will do. Here's why:

(Porcelain Doll Tea Party with Grandmary's stuff)

Stephanie is getting better each day. We hope that translates into coming home soon. I'll try and keep you posted.

Love, Mr. Nielson

I spy...

Well friends, my dear wifey is back in the AZ Burn Center.

She spent the long holiday weekend having two unexpected/necessary surgeries. This was our 2nd Valentines day in a row spent in the ICU. We reminisced of past lovers holidays and expressed words of love...words like these.

Because of some infection setbacks the doctors needed to remove hunchie for a while. It's a sad setback, but she is staying positive and optimistic.

This is a typical scene from room #9 at the AZ Burn Center.
Can you spy: a stethoscope, an Igloo cooler, my sweetheart, left-over Rubio's Fish Tacos, moisturizer, and the 2010 Winter Olympics.

I am back.

I am back in the hospital.
I am being taken care of very well.
I had a few complications.

I am having a big surgery today.
Very nervous.

Love
-Nie

Lioness

It was pointed out to me, that Oprah loved my lioness outfit.
See Me.


See her..

Woe.

I am so flattered.
Everything is just fine- I am back home resting with my family.

Kisses,
Nie

Headed back.

Headed back to Dr. L.
Something is not quite right.
If you have the chance, a prayer would be awesome.

Can you....?

(Me, with a very tight neck)

Hunchie was indeed blown up. 200 cc's more. In case you were wondering that is like 200 pounds more to my back.
I am now successfully walking like my neighbor across the street. She is ruffly 100+ and walks to the local bookstore almost everyday-with a hunchie of her very own (but its real).

I came home from the hospital eager to be Mom. The mom I used to be. Oh, how I wanted to pick up Nicholas, get down on the floor with Ollie and play army men. I wished I could have jumped on the trampoline with Jane and Claire.
But those days will come. I am sure of it.
For now, I sit and tell Nicholas stories about when he was born. I hold Ollie's hand around the house. And tonight I did valentines with the girls.
It is good enough for now, although they are concerned. They worry about me, and my condition and what will happen. I assure them that my very talented Dr. L and his team will help me enjoy life more fully (and hopefully decrease the amount of tears I shed daily)

"Can you jump on the trampoline?",
"Can you have another baby?"
"Are you going to run again?"
"Will you be able to ride your bike again?"
"Are your boobies going to get bigger?"

These are the questions I get asked daily. This process involves all of us.
I am well aware of that. I certainly appreciate your prayers, cards and packages.
It makes this painful process that much easier. And that means a lot.

Thank you Washington for the oreo's. Yummy my favorite.
Thank you Ohio for the cards and the book.
Thank you Sandy, Utah for the cute hair accessories.
Thanks to all of you!

Sister #2 in town!! Dinner tonight! I am so excited to see you!


P.S. If you carry on, I will too.
P.P.S Dr. J, you were missed today. Send me your e-mail.

Hunchies third blow.

I am blowing up hunchie today.
Can't really post.
I need prayers, I really get nervous doing this...
But enjoy this picture of my son drinking grape juice.
I always like to think of something funny when I am in peril.

Wart's questions.

Last Night, Mr. Nielson put all the kids to bed-except Ollie who was asking question after question about Jesus.
They were really quite beautiful questions that had me in tears.
Because I too, ponder those questions now and again.
And I love Ollie's simple faith to believe and trust us-
his parents to tell him correctly.

"Where is Jesus"
"Why did he die"
"Does he love everyone?"

Christian told the whole story to the wide-eyed child.
He explained His mission on earth and how He died.
Ollie was very involved in the story, asking every possible question right beside Nicholas,
who snored heavily, exhausted from the day.

Mr. Nielson told Ollie about how Christ died but arose three days after.

"Did he die like mommy did? And mommy came back too?"

It's true, I experienced something that words could never express.
And yes, I came back too-for Ollie, and Claire, Jane, Nic, and my Mr. Nielson. I came back to enjoy life, be with my family and learn lessons, one can only learn in a body.

"Is that big ball in space with the ring around it real"

That question sparked many others- most of the questions answered.
Mr. Nielson challenged Ollie to be the one to build a
rocket ship to fly to that "planet with the ring around it".

"Where is outer-space?"

And to that Mr. Nielson replied:

"Look straight up, its there."

Then he was quiet.
Mr. Nielson came over to my bed, we talked about fast forwarding this part of our life.
It is so hard, and somedays I don' think I can go on any further.
But we both agreed that we would end up rewinding it,
because we would have missed lesson's learned,
and missed our children growing up and asking funny questions at night.

Then ten minutes later we heard funny noises.
There was Ollie under the covers playing with Mr. Nielson's phone.
Mr. Nielson went over and uncovered the child we nicknamed "Wart".

"I like the light Dad"-

I thought about the light. Everyone loves light. A light in the darkness, a light to find the way-the true and real light is Christ.
And we all want that "light" in our lives.

My sister Luc

Today was a good day.
I went out.
I was seen.
I would walk the earth over and over in this condition with Hunchie,
if I could go with my Mom and Lucy (and Betsy).
We went to Whole Foods and bought salmon for dinner.
Mr. Nielson grilled it up and everyone dined on fresh delicious fillets for dinner.

I had to change my outfit 4 times today because I leaked
bodily fluids from my back on my clothes.
I just wear Jammies everyday, so no need to fear.

Tonight I talked to my Dad in Utah, who told me to
carry on and that he loved me.
I lay in bed with Lucy as Mom rubbed my legs.
My legs are so tight and my skin grafts ache.

Mr. Nielson lay in bed with the children down the hall.
Lucy put Betsy down for the night and we talked about life last year and how totally different it is this year. Lucy read me a little bit from her journal. Last year my hair was buzzed, I was frightfully skinny and my baby was calling Lucy "Mom".

(lucy & stephanie 1987)

It was time for Lucy to take a turn at rubbing my legs
because Mom needed a break.
This time I meant business, so I took my bottoms off.
Only sisters can do things like that.
I have scratched my skin raw.
And I was so sore.
Lucy rubbed it so nice, and I felt better.

We laughed about when we were young and shared a bed
until I was a sophomore in high school.
And that I called her 'Luc' and still call her 'Luc'
And how we got in the tub together until
we were like 10 or something like that.
We can do that.
Because we are sisters.

I hope my daughters will lie in bed with each other and
laugh and cry together and rub each other's legs and bum
That's what sisters are for.

(lucy and cindy getting me some lunch and my lip-savers)

And... to run into Bath and Body Works for some lip stuff.
(She always knows what's good)

Tomorrow we are headed for more homemade oreo's at Sweet Cakes on Main street.
Court, you betcha I am sending some sugar cookies home with Lucy for you.

Check me out here:
Wasatch Woman
And...
You can comment on my 'Nie and You' blog...I'd love to hear what you have to say

Monkey see, monkey do.

This morning I woke up. I woke up in pain. Hunchie has grown doubly.
Yesterday was a gigantic blurr.
Medications, helped me not remember getting into the car, driving to the hospital (with Mr. Nielson, Lucy, Betsy and my Mom) and having another treatment.
I think I was floating around the hospital when really I was having a huge needle inserted into hunchie and blown up bigger.

Mom informed me that after the doctors visit, we all dined at LGO in Phoenix.
If I were present, I would have never let them take me anywhere in public with the hunchback. But the meds were strong enough and apparently I put my head on my plate in pain and embarrassed Lucy.

I think being drugged is like being drunk. I don't know though, but whatever it is, I don't like the feeling. I feel frightened and vulnerable. Which makes me wonder why anyone would enjoy getting drunk for fun.

I went straight to bed without watching LOST. The new season. I am so bummed. It is currently being downloaded on my computer for my viewing pleasure tomorrow.

Mom and Lucy are still here, thank heavens. I am so happy just having them here laughing eating homemade oreos and playing with my children.

Mr. Nielson times my pills and happily wakes me up at 4:00 a.m. to give me my meds so I don't get behind. I love him. He painted my toes, changed my sheets, bathes me, dresses me, and answerer's to my every need. He is my hero. And seriously, everybody needs a hero.

This afternoon I found Claire taking care of Nicholas on the couch. He had a IV in his arm made of straws stuck on with band-aids. The IV was hooked to a small brown box. It was adorable, but scary, what am I teaching my children?

Yummy
Cool