Magic

Rehab today was actually quite nice. My pain today was minimal, good thing since last night I thought I was going to die.
The day was cloudy and windy-my favorite! Page came down for lunch. We caught up with one another. Page looked so pretty today. Her lips were stained with a pretty red color and her hair longer since I saw her last. Mr. Nielson made delicious Mexican cuisine for us while we chatted away.
While I lay on the table at rehab this afternoon, heat packs on my legs and neck, my thoughts carried me away to when I was little probably six or seven. It would be Sunday evening after dinner. Dessert would unfortunately no be on the menu and everyone had a serious sweet tooth itch. Dad wound round up whoever would want to go in the car 'for a little drive'. We all knew that it meant a treat was involved. Then the suburban would drive downtown to Dad's office where the kids pilled out of the car and into dad's magical cupboard. The cupboard beheld every mini-sized treat available.
We would clean it out.
Sometimes I would leave a note to Dad's secretary:

Dear Sherry,
We ate the treats in the cupboard. Sorry.


love.
Stephanie


P.S. next time will you buy Snickers? Thanks

My mind shifted forward eleven years later when I was the secretary at Dad's office. One of my more important jobs was buying treats for the magic cupboard.
One spring afternoon while working, a cute boy walked through the door and inquired for my Dad.
I saw stars.
I was immediately fell hard in love.
Six months later I married that cute boy.
My Mr. Nielson.
I am so glad.

Spontaneous twinkles

I lay in bed last night thinking.
Pain.
Rats! Here it goes again I thought, the nightly pain deal. So I tried thinking of something else. I thought about last Saturday when I joined my Mom and Dad for a lunch date. After lunch, Dad and I dropped my Mother off a the local nail salon for her pedicure.
Dad took me and his beloved pup 'Nan' with him to his favorite spot near the lake.
The day was winding down and so the sun sat low behind the golden marsh plants. I was in a state of well-being and happiness. Courtney had taken my girls ice skating for the day and Mr Nielson had the boys. Dad and I talked and walked and walked.
Advice was offered, and tears were shed but best of all I felt the spirit so strongly in my heart. My mind fluttered away for a moment and I was suddenly standing in a lush and green field. It was the pick-yourself strawberry fields in Maryland. I was pregnant with Ollie and the two girls and I was living with Mr. Nelson's brother Peter, his wife Darin and their darlings while we made the transition back east from Utah.
Darin brought me to the farm on a over-cast and balmy summer morning. Claire picked the fattest perfectly-formed berries plopping them in our bucket while Jane devoured them just as fast as Claire could pick.
Red juice stained her white tee-shirt. She was so happy, so pleased in that moment.
That's my Jane.
I remembered those Maryland nights. First sign of night came with the spontaneous twinkle here and there.
Fireflies.
God's magic wand I say.
Weekends brought Mr. Nielson from a lonely work week alone in New Jersey. I could barely keep my hands off him. Speaking of spontaneous, one night we said we were going to a "movie" but really we "parked" in a beautiful field -fireflies aglow (do you blame me? We lived in one room with our kids and his brother upstairs.... Oh stop, I know you know what I mean) Those happy days brought happy warm thoughts. Those are thoughts the spirit helps me to recollect as another ever reminder that Christian and I were preserved for a purpose and they will (and are) still going to happen.

Thank you for your e-mails, I adore them. Every single one.

A good day, seriously.

I sat on couch today full as a stuffed pig. Mr. Nielson packed me full of protein this morning, and I devoured every last bite. Gaining weight has been a challenge and I am dying for a little 'junk in the trunk' you know what I mean? Not to mention my chest area abnormally small-especially for a Clark (thanks grandma).
I watched Gigs throw popcorn to Jimmy all morning. Gigs was so excited, and forgive me, I couldn't stop enjoying that just a little-something about his big brown eyes lighting up with each fluffy throw forced me to look on. Jimmy may or may not have gained a few pounds today.
They are best friends.
Seriously.
Jane turned six successfully. Unfortunately Mr. Nielson and I had to visit the good peeps at the burn unit all afternoon. Aunt-mommy Lucy took the children. They love to play with her chickens and other things that her cozy farmhouse supplies. Lucy also created a beautiful two layer chocolate cake atop with pink frosting just for Jane.
Did I mention I had surgery on my hand. I have a cast on about the size of a boxing glove. I also received a skin release under my (super-hairy-you-could-braid-it) armpit. A splint was made for me to keep the arm elevated. My arm looks like a elephant trunk.
So I decided to go to target for every patron to pretend not to look at me and every child to stare at me. Hard.
That night after the children were all in bed, I invited Mr. Nielson to feed me a warm chocolate oatmeal cookie. We quoted Brian Reagan all night long until my benadryl dozed me off to dreamlamnd.
It was a good day...a very good day without one tear.

It's possible.

"Chalk off another surgery" my dad cheerfully announed to me when I returned from the hospital.
True another surgery down and plenty to go.
Returning home, I received hundreds of cards, letters, funds, and other trinkets from wonderful people from all over the globe. I read a good portion of them. I am in awe. What amazing friends I have-most I have never met.
Laying in bed today and staring up at my crystal light fixture my awesome sister-in-law Lisa picked out for me, I reflected. Tomorrow is Jane's sixth birthday. Oh how I wish I could make her a birthday cake, smother her with kisses, pick out her birthday outfit and make her feel so special. Jane has taken the accident particularly hard. Life is a challenging road. I am going to make Jane feel like a little princess tomorrow-with my verbal expression of love. Thats not too hard, she is so lovable not to mention adorable!!
Jimmy ate Ollie's cookie today, Gigs hid his 'abc' gum under his coloring book, and Claire wrote a book today all about germs. All I can say is, after reading her book I will ALWAYS wash my hands with soap. These are all things I enjoyed while kicking it in bed. I've found it's possible to do that.

A plan

I am typing from room number 9 in the burn unit.
Surgery is over-for now anyway. My hands, arms, and neck all wrapped up from skin releases. Dee just made me her special milkshake-doing my best to GAIN pounds. I am feeling lonely in my dark room. The sun has hidden her rays. Mr. Nielson should be here soon, and then the sun will be shining again.
The nurses are so kind and gentle with me.
I smell like ketchup.
Yesterday I had a huge plate of them for lunch and dinner.
What has become of me?
I miss my children terribly. This last week has been ruff. I am ready to go home.
Mom came up and read to me. We read about wonderful and inspiring people from the scriptures and church magazines. Everyone has a story and it is being guided (if we let it) by our Heavenly Father...Wow.
We are lucky.
Prayer works.
I lost another burn friend last week. She was 18 years old and we roomed next to each other. I am happy to know life doesn't end after death. God has a plan. I am learning to follow it-burns, surgeries, heartaches, and hospital stays away from home.
Thank you for your prayers.
Anyone want to itch my back?

Update and Love for Nie Day

Hey Nie fans, it's Courtney here to thank you (once again) for your prayers on behalf of my sister and her family. The surgery went well, and Nie is recovering in good health. We hope she'll be home soon, back to physical therapy and family life. She never ceases to amaze.

Just a reminder that this Saturday is Valentines Day, or in other words, Love for Nie Day. We are celebrating the finale of Nie Recovery by switching all Nie Recovery buttons to I Read Nie buttons. We thank all of those who pitched in to support Nie Recovery. The going word around here is overwhelming. It may never catch up to us, all the love and support.
For more info please see here.

Once again, a gigantic thank you to Nie's dear friend Reachel Bagley for all of her outstanding work in raising awareness and donations for the recovery of the Nielsons. This lifetime can't contain our never-ending gratitude for what she has done, so we will extend this thanks into the hereafters.

(Also, Reachel helped me find my true body shape and the appropriate fit, color and flair for the clothes that drape my shape. Talk about a God send--visit her at Cardigan Empire.)

Lastly, on behalf of our families we want you to know that we know that God is real. We are believers in miracles, blessings and religion. Now, more than ever.

See you in Nie-land soon!

A work in progress.

I am off to surgery folks.
I will be enjoying that delish hospital food, maybe (if i get super lucky) a catheter and a lot of shots. I will miss Miss B. coming over to rub my back.
Mr. Nielson will stay at home and make sure Jimmy wont poop in the house. The kids are coming to live "full-time" with us at the end of the week. In celebration, Mr. Nielson bought the us a new beautiful up-right piano. None of us can play it. He can whip out a REM song and I know "Heart and soul" (but who doesn't). Looking for a teacher to teach us all. It was delivered to the house while I was plopped on a couch feeling extra sorry for myself.
The beautiful mahogany wood looked so memorable in the sun's rays.
And for a minute, I was happy.
I thought about good times to be had in the distance of my life.
Mr. Nielson tucked me safe and sound into bed that night. Mindy was singing softly in the background. My eyes welled up as he pulled me close to him. "This is only temporary...you are a beautiful work in progress" Then he lay next to me and when he thought I was asleep, he patted me and said
"girl, I love you"
Then up got to put away the dinner dishes.

Squeaky Cheese

The concert Monday was amazing.
My heart is full again. Thank you to all who participated and all who came. I love you!
Last night I enjoyed my first night sleeping (in the same bed) with Mr. Nielson-just like old times. My legs wrapped around his warm body. Yum.
Morning brought a delicious eggs, toast, and Utah's own cheddar curds (mostly known as "squeaky cheese around these parts.)
Mr. Nielson woke up early and delivered to me fresh bread and a Jamba juice along with his delicious breakfast.
Last night Jimmy arrived. We all were excited to see our good 'ol dog.
He has terrible breath.
Now I prepare for rehab with Kirk, Shake-it-Shane, and Mr. Kilimanjaro.
(because he recently hiked it)
We expect our new bed today as well as our dinning room table. I can't wait. Pictures tomorrow.